2am

I can't sleep. I woke up and I'm literally wide awake. Yesterday, was an interesting day. The baby gets monitored once a day. The entail hooking me up to a monitor for 20 minutes. The monitor measures the baby's heartbeat, and whether or not I'm contracting. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor around 10 am as usual, and left the room. They always ask me if I'd like them to turn the volume down, but I enjoy hearing his heartbeat. Since I listen to the heartbeat on a regular basis I could tell something just didn't sound quite right this morning. The nurse came in shortly after, and also thought something wasn't quite right. His heartbeat was a bit off. He was having something call a Premature ventricular contractions (PVC) or pre-mature beat. An on call resident was called in to also listen to the heartbeat and he confirmed what the nurse thought it was. They were both reassuring that I shouldn't worry to much, it happens often in baby's and 99% of the time goes away on it own before the baby is born. However, just to make sure they ordered an ultrasound right away, and I mean right away. I was getting an ultrasound with in 5 minutes. The positive side of being in the hospital.

I had just had an ultrasound 2 days ago and everything looked good. The baby was breech, but otherwise everything looked good. He had been breech for the last couple weeks, and I'm having a c-section anyway so it really doesn't matter. During the ultrasound the did what's called a bio-physical profile where they The BPP measures your baby's heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around your baby. Everything looked perfect. They also check to make sure the umbilical cord was not wrapped around his neck, and that their were no blood vessels being compressed. Once again everything looked great. The PVC, however, was still there. The only thing that looked different from the sonogram 2 days ago was that he managed to find time to complete flip around. (he was now head down and instead of head up)

The think this sudden movement is what may have caused the irregular beat. It is also what might have cause the stomach ache I was having last night. :) The monitored him one more time in the afternoon and by the the premature beat was gone. Hopefully, it won't come back.

A week on HRP (High Risk Perinatal)

So today is day 7 of hospitalized bed rest. Everything seems to be pretty stable other than my iron being a little low. Now, I'm taking an iron supplements. I've been able to stay focused and stay positive, but I'll admit I have my moments. Every time I start going down the self pity route, I read something or something happens that reminds me how thankful I really need to be. Vasa Previa still goes undiagnosed. If it's undiagnosed there is a 50-95% chance of fetal death. Being at the hospital insures that if god forbid something goes wrong, they be able to save the baby. And if nothing goes wrong in 6 weeks we'll deliver via c-section a healthy little boy. This whole experience will be just a memory. I think the toughest part of this is that I can't go outside, or open a window. I'm trying to convince my doctor to allow me to go on a wheelchair ride outside, but so far I have been unsuccessful. She's tough, and I don't think she's going to give in.

I'll admit their have been some pluses to being here. One is how many friends and family have shown their support. Life sometimes gets busy and we lose track of each other. It's amazing when you are in a place where you really need support people find time. Even people you wouldn't expect. It's funny it kind of reminds me of my wedding. Odd comparison I know. But it was also a time where close friends just seemed to rally around. Another positive is how much time my husband and I have been spending together. It's been really nice. I don't think we've sat around and just laughed and talked this much since we first started dating. Life gets busy and you get into a routine. He has been amazing during this who process, I am so thankful for him. I could not ask for more. I feel blessed.

"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever"...-- Isak Dinesen

The Cell or The Spa

I have an individual cell. I am only allowed to get up to use the restroom or take a shower, otherwise I have to stay in bed. In order to do anything else I need a written order from the Warden (AKA my Doctor). At this point I am not allowed to even take a wheel chair ride out side. Though everyone here is quite nice from the Warden, to the guards (aka nurses), to the folks that bring you your tray of food it is very confining. I do have a window in my room, but it looks out to other ugly old brick institutional looking buildings. No trees in sight. I can see how over time this place can really get to you. Everything I do is monitored.

This weekend my parents and a close family friend came to visit me at the Hospital. My mother spent a month a hospital in eastern Europe when my brother was born. My brother in now in his mid 40's. The family friend spent several weeks in a hospital also in Eastern Europe about 25 years ago when her daughter was born.

To them this was a Spa! Imagine a large room filled with beds right next to each other, as well as hospital beds lining the hallway. There was a public restroom, but no shower. A month without a shower, I can only imagine the smell. There was one phone, that was manned by what my mother described as a power hungry old lady. And visitors were not allowed. Women were crying just to call and talk to their children.

Like, I mentioned I have my own room with its own bathroom/shower. I also have a phone in my room, the use of my cell, a laptop with internet access, and a small flat screen TV with cable. My husband brought me new sheets for the hospital bed, and pillows an a comforter from home. If I don't like what's listed for lunch I can call and change it. (don't get me wrong the food isn't very good, but it's edible). I can have up to 3 visitors at a time, and my husband can visit 24 hours a day. Anything I need I just pick up the phone and call, someone will bring it to me!

A Cell or a Spa... it's all perspective

An example of my supportive friends

An online chat with a friend who I will refer to as the Non Present Friend of NPF, while another friend was visiting we'll call her the present friend. It had me and the friend that was visiting cracking up! So, I thought I would share.

NPF: lots of time on your hands i see
NPF: sucka...your blogs are too long
me: my good friend that is visiting me.. Present Friend says "stuff it"
NPF: she's not a good friend, she's secretly laughing that you're in prison and wanted to see it for herself
me: prisoners need company too..:(
NPF: you have other inmates and wardens
me: most of the rest of the blogs will be more like the one on knitting, i actually dont get to see the other inmates.. im in solitary confinement
NPF: that means youre a bad person
me: why do I continue to talk to you
NPF: cause you aspire to be like me
me: you really had to think hard on that one...
NPF: thanks...you can think too....someday

Doesn't this just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside! Incase anyone was confused Prison refers to the hospital, inmates refers to the patients, wardens refers to the Doctor.

Day 2 of 50

Yesterday was over all a pretty good day! My blood glucose test came back negative, my blood pressure is good, the baby is doing great, and as of right now I'm feeling pretty good both emotionally and physically. I also had my first of a series of 2 steroid injections yesterday. Research has shown that the use of steroids provides benefits for the lung development in the premature infants to reduce the risk of respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) as well as to reduce the risk of intracranial hemorrhaging, as well as other potential benefits in speeding up development. We are hoping to carry to 25-36 weeks, but my doctor wants to be prepared just in case.

The nurses here on this unit are wonderful. So far I've had 3 different nurses and I have no complaints about any of them. Even the tray carrier is great! I guess it showed on my face that I was disappointed by the lunch options. I asked her if there is anyway I could get a simple salad with chicken instead of the extremely unhealthy options listed. Well, when she brought lunch she said it's not what you asked for, but do you like salmon? She brought me mixed greens with cucumbers, olives, and tomato’s toped with a nice size piece of grilled salmon, and a special house dressing on the side. It was great! She also mentioned that there are always options that are not listed, and if she is working just ask her and she'll get it for me. How great is that!

More good news! " I got a great deal on my muffler." Okay, just kidding. But I did make my first EBay purchase. I purchased a 20% off coupon to Buy Buy Baby for $2.76 + $.50 shipping for a total for $3.26. The Buy Buy Baby coupons are much harder to come by, the Bed Bath and Beyond Coupons. They are good on everything in the store including Furniture. My $2.76 will save me over $100 on baby furniture. Incase you didn't know you can use the Bed Bath and Beyond Coupons their, but they are only good on certain items.

I, also, was moved to my own room today. This is good, but has a couple minuses. The good news is I can settle down more in this room and most importantly my husband can stay as long as he wants. Usually, it can take up to 2 -3 weeks to get your own room so I should be excited. On may levels I am, but this room is much louder. It's right near the entrance door to the unit, vs. the other room, which was tucked away. I'm also a bit odd that I was kind of looking forward to having a roommate for at least a short time. I get along with most people, and thought it might be nice to get to know someone in a similar place. Overall, I'm lucky to have it! Last night my wonderful husband went out and purchased my 600 count sheets for my bed and brought my pillows and a comforter from home! I was worth every penny, and made such a difference in my sleep last night!

I am so thankful for him and all the other wonderful friends and family in my life.

Thanks, but I don't want to KNIT

From my Doctor down the very first suggestion that anyone seems to give is " You should start Knitting." I'm here for most likely 7 weeks, 49 days and 1,176 hours. Is the best suggestion you can really give me is to start knitting... If I was a male would the first thing you would suggest still be " you should knit", "have you thought about taking up knitting" .. " knitting a great way to make the time go by" Really that's the best you can do? So don't get me wrong. I think knitting is a worthy activity. But the simple fact that it's the first and only suggestion most folks seem to have really gets to me.

So, NO I DON'T WANT TO KNIT! I'd love suggestions on how to keep myself both intellectually and emotional simulated during my 7 weeks, 49 days, 1,176 hours here!

Maybe a productive use of my time will be to compile a bed rest survival guide!

Curveball

I'm going to fast forward a bit here. I'm now 28 weeks. At 20 weeks I was diagnosed with a rare condition called vasa previa coupled with a Transvaginal color Doppler ultrasound. "Vasa previa is a rarely (1:2500) reported condition in which fetal blood vessel(s) from the placenta or umbilical cord crosses the entrance to the birth canal, beneath the baby. The condition has a high fetal mortality rate (50-95%). This can be attributed to rapid fetal exsanguination resulting from the vessels tearing when the cervix dilates, membranes rupture or if the vessels become pinched off as they are compressed between the baby and the walls of the birth canal." www.vasaprevia.org A Velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord is "an abnormal condition in which the umbilical cord does not insert into the placental mass but, instead, traverses the fetal membranes before it inserts into the umbilical cord." from Medterms.com 2002.

Sounds scary! Well, I'll admit it is a bit scary. Especially, when you go online and read about it, but I'll tell you the good news. I have a wonderful Doctor. They were able to diagnose the condition at 20 weeks pre-labor using a Transvaginal color Doppler ultrasound. Most importantly is because this condition was diagnosed early my baby is going to be just fine and the other good news is this is not something likely to happen with my next pregnancy. To manage the condition I was put on bed rest at 26 weeks. Yesterday my doctor called in the morning to let me know they were admitting me to the hospital in the evening (4/22) for the rest of my pregnancy. Though I'll admit it was a bit of a blow I knew it was coming.

Thankfully, yesterday was a beautiful sunny day. I spent the whole day laying outside on our patio enjoy some fresh air before being admitted to the hospital for hopefully 7-8 weeks. The hopefully has nothing to do with my desire to be in the hospital, but everything to do with my desire for our little boy to cook as long as possible. Oh yeah! We are having a boy! If all goes well and we have no additional complications and my doctor will deliver via c-section at 35-36 weeks.

My husband has been a saint through this whole process. I couldn't ask for someone more supportive. I called him at work to let him know we'd be heading to the hospital in the evening. He headed home early to help me pack, and stopped at the store to pick up a bunch of things we thought I need for the hospital. (shower shoes ect) It was like I was going away to summer camp! We moved a bit slow and finally checked into the hospital at 9:30 pm.

After completing and signing a bunch of paperwork we headed to our floor. We were greeted by my evening nurse. She was wonderful, and really made the process easier. I'm starting off in a double room until a single is available. Luckily, I had the room to myself and got the bed next too the window! I need sun! After a bit Jessica came in and hooked my up to a fetal monitor to hear the baby's heart rate and make sure I wasn't contacting. She also took us through what I assume is there standard new patient intake and unit intro. It just entailed a bunch of basic questions, and an introduction to how the unit works! The unit is strictly for women with pregnancy complications that require preventative monitoring. Here are the highlights. I was on complete bed rest except to use the restroom. As long as my doctor approves it I could have wheel chair privileges and attend a weekly social hour on the unit. Visiting hours were 12-8 pm for friends and family. My husband could visit from 10 am-10 pm while I'm in the semi-private room, and 24/7 when I get moved to a private room. Since I had no roommate at the hospital he was allowed to stay as long as he wanted last night. I finally made him head home and get some rest at about 1:30 am. Oh and I almost forgot that my dog can visit! I think that's awesome. I absolutely love my dog Jazz. Also, my friends could most likely hold a baby shower at the hospital.

My doctor was actually at the hospital delivering a baby, she stopped by around 11:30 pm. Well let's just say she is really! No, wheelchair rides, no social hour. Stay put. Additionally, she requested that I have an IV put in just in case I need blood quickly. Not fun. She stayed and chatted with my husband and I for about 45 minutes, and in addition to small talk she made it clear that she was very concerned! She was really direct and emotional about what was going and how serious it would be if I actually started bleeding. Recently, she had a patient that did.. Thankfully it turned out okay, but it very easily could go the other direction.

I was pretty disappointed that I was truly locked down in the hospital room, but I'm very thankful to have a doctor that truly takes the time to talk and explain, vs just dictate orders. Even at 11:30 pm when she's obviously tired and needing some rest.

It's now 7am the next morning 4/23. So far I've had to drink what tasted like a concentrated orange Kool-aid and had my blood drawn for a glucose test and a bunch of other stuff. My Doctor stopped by again this morning to check on my for a few minutes, my nurse has been in and out and a resident stopped buy. It's been party central this morning. Good thing I woke up at 5am! The only problem is I didn't go to bed until about 1:30 am. So at the moment I'm feeling a bit tired, and a bit hungry. Breakfast should be sometime soon, then the residents come by and do some fetal monitoring. Hopefully, things will slow down after that and I can take a nap.

Till next time....

Finding out and telling our family!

Hello Everyone,

As I mentioned this is the first time I have ever blogged, so bare with me hopefully I can keep your attention. My husband and I are pretty much the typical suburban couple in our mid-thirties. We've now been married for about 3 years, we have stable jobs, own a house; we have a good life! Also like most married couples in their mid-thirties we decided it was time to start a family. Though I'll admit both of us went back and forth on whether or not we were ready, did we want to bring a child into a world with all the craziness that has been going on lately, and ultimately were we willing to give up our current selfish and fun lifestyle! By the title of this blog you can probably tell the we decide that we were ready, though this is a crazy world maybe, just maybe we can raise a productive member of this society that can effect change, and we were willing to adapt our lifestyle to make that happen!

We were so excited to find out we were pregnant! I remember the first ultrasound at about 6 1/2 weeks. Seeing the little heart beating was amazing, and overwhelming. Though it's funny at this point it still wasn't real to me. Unlike a lot of pregnant women I know other than being a bit tired I felt great! We also hadn't started tell anyone we were pregnant, not even our families; both of us wanted to wait . As excited as we both were, there was also a bit of reservation and fear during this early part of the pregnancy. Our plan was to wait until we were 12 weeks, but the excitement got the best of us, we told our parents. At Thanksgiving we were 8 weeks along! I guess the combination of me passing on a glass of wine (I love a good glass of wine), and my mother-in-law being insistent that I couldn't carry anything gave it way.:)

This is her first grandchild so I'm sure she was just excited. My mother on the other hand has 2 granddaughters, and really wanted a grandson! I remember the first time I brought my husband home to meet my parents. We had only been dating for about 3 months a this point. My mother looks right at my husband and say's "I want grandson's," Talk about pressure!

My nieces are now 6 and 11, and everyone is ready for a new baby in the family! I remember showing my 6 year old niece a picture of the ultra sound. "What does this look like to you?".... "A shrimp" We couldn't stop laughing. " I guess they do look a bit like shrimp at that point.